Learning to live with irrationality

"No matter how great their teachers, few students genuinely yearn for the life of the mind" [Bryan Caplan]. Most people don't use the Internet/AI for intellectual enrichment. Perhaps this is why I find myself increasingly frustrated by the inconsistency and irrationality I encounter in everyday life. But how should I deal with that frustration? How can I become less angry at people for being, well, human?

With someone who doesn't enjoy thinking, increasingly sophisticated arguments often accomplish nothing. At that point you're not having an intellectual conversation, you're trying to make someone interested in having an intellectual conversation. That's usually a losing proposition.

To preserve sanity, one must deliberately construct an intellectual ecosystem: books, a few curious friends, challenging projects. Let the rest of the world be the rest of the world... Not out of superiority, but out of boundary setting.

Once you repeatedly observe irrationality, it's very easy for "People behave irrationally" to become "People are idiots." The first is a useful empirical observation. The second gradually poisons your relationship with humanity. Try "What mechanism produced this belief?" Now the phenomenon becomes interesting. Was it:

• conformity/tribal loyalty?
• status seeking?
• fear?
• lack of information?
• incentives?
• being tired/poor?
• cognitive overload?
• low energy/laziness?
• childhood conditioning?
• an experience you don't know about?

You move from judging the output to understanding the system that generated it. Of course, understanding the reason does not mean that you have to approve of it or become close friends. Don't try to change them, set boundaries and move on.

You can give someone an excellent teacher, books, a university, the Internet/AI and enormous amounts of information, and they may still prefer entertainment. That's frustrating if you regard intellectual development as one of the great things humans can do. But perhaps the healthier conclusion isn't "Why don't people appreciate this?" It's "I'm lucky that I do." That turns the same observation from an indictment of humanity into gratitude for your own curiosity.

See also: Thinking Fast and Slow

Relationship Advice

Recently, a 24-year-old female acquaintance asked me about how to find a partner for a long-term relationship. Here is my perspective:

• To avoid being influenced by charming yet superficial rhetoric, don't be flattered by being treated like a princess and instead maintain an expectation of being treated as an equal.
• Having a strong attraction towards someone does not automatically indicate that they are your soul mate. Our brains have a tendency to rationalize our emotions, so it's important not to let it deceive us. It is advisable to maintain a clear and rational mindset by seeking the opinions of trusted individuals.
• Romance and long-term relationships are completely different. For a long-term relationship, you need an intelligent, caring and confident person who you can rely on. Do you think such a man might trust and respect you? If not, work on becoming such a woman.
• Instead of fixating on finding a partner, channel your energy into personal growth and enhancing your interests. Share your passions with others and consider creating online content that aligns with the interests of the people you'd like to meet. This provides a common topic to talk about and significantly enhances the chance of getting in touch with a compatible individual.
• The easiest way to find meaning in life is by engaging in activities that you enjoy and that also bring value to others.
• Your health is your most important asset, without health, nothing matters. Exercise daily, get enough sleep, stay away from smoking, alcohol and drugs.
• Be prudent with sexual relationships, the more your body count, the less attractive you will be.
• Dressing modestly instead of provocatively can help your potential partner get to know you better without unnecessary distractions.
• Personally, my most important criteria is to be able to have a conversation for long hours about a wide range of topics, not just about how much you miss/love each other. This demonstrates curiousity, sound reasoning skills and increases the likelihood of successfully resolving future conflicts that are bound to arise once the infatuation subsides.

Understand that finding a long-term partner may not happen quickly, concentrate on becoming a high-quality human being first and looking for a partner second.

Music: Paradise - Coldplay (Fingerstyle Guitar)

Why geeks are sexy

If you are a woman, read the top ten reasons why geeks make good fathers. Then take a look why dilbert is also a sex symbol. And then tell all your friends (women) about this blog and its super-sexy geek author so that they may have a chance of to produce offspring that could survive evolutionary pressures.